Adelaide University Football Club
AUFC SCUM: 8.5.53
By Ben “Bunny” Warren – SCUM Coach.
-The Adelaide University Football Club calls its supposedly “lowest” side “The SCUM”, we are very proud to tell everyone we play “SCUM” for the World’s Greatest Football Club.
September the 7th 2013 will go down as a great day for AUFC SCUM and one of the greatest days in my life. I know it also means a lot to the large AUFC contingency that were present and if the partying has anything to go by, a shitload to all of the players. It will be remembered fondly as the day that 25 blokes had the privilege of representing the greatest club on Earth and won the 1st SCUM Cup in 16 years! F YEAH! It’s still hard to write this as I get the jitters just thinking about it but here goes nothing.
After coaching 100s of players over 5 years, going 5th then 4th then 3rd then 2nd it felt natural that this day would come by attrition but my glass isn’t half empty, its never seen water! Being continually surrounded by club legends, retiring champions, star recruits, reluctant warriors, fantastic support staff, inspiring rookies, AFL champions, eternal optimists, intriguing weirdo’s, international students and forgiving hierarchy how could it go wrong? Well it didn’t and this angry Bunny aint so angry no more!
Where do we start? Well the SCUM didn’t put a foot wrong. They all arrived on time and ready. Which is remarkable as we had 3 key players who were integral to Labor’s chances in the federal election (Sorry Kevin). SCUM prepared and had more physios, strappers and support staff than Clive Palmer. There wasn’t a hiccup, until the first bounce. After the hundreds of emails circling around the SCUM all week, from dozens of club officials there was one reasonably important role not considered. A F$%^ing boundary umpire! Lucky one of the SCUM star recruits this year was Don-Keys, who is an actual SANFL boundary umpire. Don jumped to the task, got changed into his professional get up faster than Superman and adjudicated. My heart stopped and Rulei sedated me, thanks again CLINT.
When the game did get started, Ovvies got the jump, as per usual and scored the opener. I must admit, it didn’t worry me in the slightest (TOTAL LIE) as SCUM always play rope a dope early. Anyway, then a bloke called Howie stepped in. He kicked a few, he played alright, he was fricking awesome! The rest followed his lead. We didn’t turn back, we dominated them and got out to a lead.
The rest of the first half is a blur. All played well, seriously they did! The back six were intensely suffocating, the middle just arched their backs and won all of the central contests and the forward line kept their space open and pounced at every opportunity. It was a poetic SCUM.
The only dampeners on the day happened in the 3rd term when Moly got knocked out and then Jake Harry did his knee, which sucked! Ovingham tried to rally and gave it one big last effort, both through attempted football skills and sideline abuse. We had them covered. They weren’t prepared for the chairman, Doz and co to work even harder. The tackling and smothers were divine. No inch was given. No time was given and they had no space. Sublime. Perfect SCUM!
The fourth was pure passion. Ovingham got nothing. Personified by Doz running 100m to spoil through a point in the dying minutes. Then Howie iced the cake with a long goal and fat lady was singing her lungs out! It was an honor to be there. This SCUM group has been such a pleasure to be involved with. It was so hard to not play some of the guys who missed out. The guys who did play, did there all in respect of you. In fact I knew we had it done when Nick Spencer came on and literally picked up an Army Reservist dude and smashed him into the ground! It was brutal! Nuts tackle Spence!
I could go through everyone’s highlights; we have talked about it heaps over a gut load of piss. Everyone played a part. No passengers, no shoulda, coulda, wouldas! No complaints. I couldn’t be more proud. The best SCUM performance I have witnessed.
Howie kicked 4. One more then Ovingham
The Dictator kicked one!
Lawry Lawrence kicked another!
Tofe kicked a cracker!
Chimp finished off a great year with one more!
ALL PLAYED WELL
Jake Harry was awesome until…
Darragh Coughlan AKA Darren Collins was supreme in the back pocket.
Doz was everywhere.
Tofe just did what Tofe does best. Hard ball gets.
The Chairman Bridgwood tackled everything.
Best man on the ground winning the car!
No superlatives will describe his game. If any its ‘Dominant’.