Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
1 Timothy 6:17
The Bible contains no specific command to avoid gambling, and if you interpret the opening passage with the batshit-nutty-of-the-highest-order-reading of scripture (primarily Leviticus) adopted by the Westboro Baptists1, than it could perhaps decree that betting on the next pope2 is a good thing.
That aside, I’ve seen more than one parish priest3 at a country race meeting to feel comfortable enough to take Cardinal Luis Tagle at $51 (now into $26) and Cardinal Christoph Schonborn ($29)4 to be the next person to fill the Chair of Peter.
The market
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,and said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
Matthew 21:12-13
First up, holy power saw of Jesus, who saw this coming – the first pope to resign since Pope Gregory XII in 1415. At least Gregory had the whole Avignon/Western Schism thing to lean on.
What makes this worth celebrating, outside the obvious schadenfraude for every smug atheist with a Facebook account (and that Benedict more or less spent the past few years shitting the bed on the church’s sexual abuse scandal) is that the papacy, for the next few weeks at least, becomes a ‘sport’.
There is a lot of early buzz in today’s papers about the possibility that the next pope may come from Africa. Today’s Herald Sun nominated Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana as ‘the favourite’ ($3.50). One thing the media will lose their collective shit over where he to be elected is the erroneous claim ‘First Black Pope’5. That aside, the Vatican would clearly hope that the event of a black pope will distract the world’s attention from his stance on condoms in AIDS-stricken Africa and the fact that he may be anti-Muslim (Google “Turkson + anti-muslim”).
Next in the line of betting is Cardinal Marc Oulett from Canada ($4.50). He doesn’t want it6. That said he is from Canada and Canadians are predisposed to apologise. Given the number of apologies that need to be made on behalf of the Catholic Church, he may just be the right man for the job.
Cardinal Francis Arinze from Nigeria is at $5, but the man is 80-years old, and given Bendict XVI’s reasons for stepping down, the papal conclave really should be looking to go sub-65.
This should also rule out Cardinal Angelo Scola (71) – that and the fact that the church needs a ‘game changer’ – the Archbishop of Milan is not a game changer.
Cardinal Oscar Andres Rodrigues Maradiaga from Honduras is not without a chance ($10). He’s the leading candidate from Latin America which has the greatest share of the world’s Roman Catholics (41 per cent), although the area is no longer a growth market for the church, with this share having shrunk since 1970. If he doesn’t get the gig than Cardinal Claudio Hummes from Brazil ($26) certainly wont.
Next in the line of betting are my men – Tagle (pictured above) and Sconborn.
Cardinal Luis Tagle, the archbishop of Manilla is one of the youngest members of the College of Cardinals (55) and represents a growing market in Asia. He is also widely known as a charismatic cardinal and is on brief with his work with the needy and the poor. He ticks a lot of boxes.
Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn is the archbishop of Vienna and our best chance of Vatican 3. In 2012, he overruled one of his priests and allowed a gay Catholic to serve on a parish council. He is also in the minutes as saying the church should carry out an “unflinching examination” of the causes of the abuse of the scandal.
Two other outsiders who may be recognisable to readers are:
1. Cardinal Timothy Dolan from the US ($34): In 2012, TIME magazine named Dolan one of the “100 Most Influential People in the World.” While he is the Archbishop of New York, he is largely seen as representative of the US. So there is one word as to why he won’t get it. Boston.
2. Our own Cardinal George Pell ($41), who might want to get his own house in order before taking on the entire Catholic ministry. Besides, he doesn’t even appear on the line of betting in international markets.
Who to back?
My favourite current day theologian7 Hans Kung, is a long-time critic of Benedict and says that:
“During his time in office he has ordained so many conservative cardinals, that amongst them is hardly a single person to be found who could lead the church out of its multifaceted crisis.”
The horses I’ve backed are probably the only two who have the capacity and the will to do so.
While they represent value, the smart money would be on the Catholic church to continue to wield its 100-pound bullshit sledge to shape the narrative of the next pope’s reign in such a fashion that its fanatical devotion to barefaced contradictions of the teaching of Jesus (refer footnotes) will become the status quo – so I’d be predisposed to ignore everything you’ve just read.
Craig Little was an altar boy at St Joseph’s Warrnambool, achieving a triple double in 1984 (10 regular masses, 10 weddings and 10 funerals)
1. Leviticus 25.44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Indonesians but not New Zealanders. Is someone able to clarify this? Why can’t I own New Zealanders?
2. At this point I should say that the office of pope long ago returned to the religion that Jesus renounced. Can you imagine Jesus’ reaction if he walked into Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome? He did after all say that his followers should not “lord it over others” like the pagan kings (Lk 22.25). They should not be like rabbis who “affect the first seat in the synagogue” (Lk 11.43). In short, Jesus opposed the conceited Pharisee and any religion that was proud of its virtue, ready to impose burdens rather to lift or share them. Besides which, Jesus said “Where two or three are met together in my name, there I am in their midst” (Mt 18.20). Why do you need a Bishop from Rome if you have the number one guy in your midst?
3. As a continuation of the previous footnote, my experience with parish priests in Victoria’s western district was that most of them neglected the poor to cultivate the rich.
4. These bets are placed in a somewhat forlorn hope that the resignation of Benedict XVI is another chance to act with justice toward the victims of sexual abuse at the hands of the institutional Church. That and service toward the needy and poor in rest of the world, which is pretty much the way it should have been acting for the past 20 years. The odds of this happening, regrettably, are probably longer than what’s betting markets are quoting.
5. According to The Book of Pontiffs (Liber Pontificalis) there have been three popes from Africa – Victor I (186-197 A.D.); Pope St. Militiades (311-314 A.D.) and Pope St. Gelasius (492-496 A.D.)
6. He said becoming pope “would be a nightmare”
7. Yes, I understand it is odd to have a favourite current day theologian.
About Craig Little
My heroes are all dead white males, mostly because that seems really attainable for me.
Further to your footnote 5, given the probability that Jesus was black, there is a fair chance that Peter, the first pope, was also black.
I read elswhere that one reason they elect an elderly pope, is that there is less likelihood the person will be in the role for too long that they can really impose their personal being on the position.
And do you think a couple of others could take their lead from young Ben and retire before they physically expire? Specifically I refer to Elizabeth II and Rupert Murdoch.
Is “The Book of Pontiffs (Liber Pontificalis)” the best available pontifical resource? Surely there must be a “Compleat Book of Pontiffs (Liber Pontificalis Complectetur)” going around?
AF – you could make a convincing argument that Peter wasn’t even the first ‘pope’ – he certainly was never referred to as such. Instead, Benedict, like the various popes who preceded him forged the myth of Peter’s successor to validate the apostolic power of the office.
Excellent point 2. Not only do you not need a Bishop you don’t need a special building either. Get together in His name, wherever you are – park, beach, house, hall and He says He is with you.
’7. Yes, I understand it is odd to have a favourite current day theologian’
Funny!
Craig, your profiles compellingly pinpointed where there is value for money and where there is not. I damn almost had my wallet out at one stage.
Is this the first time the name G Pell has been mentioned on this site?
Tonight, I will pray that it is the last time.
Litza – Micks can be critical of the Catholic Church, but no one else can.
My great uncle was a Jesuit Priest. Had a remarkable life. Spent a good many years in Rome as an interpreter of the scriptures – could speak Ancient Greek, Hebrew, Spanish, Italian, French, German, Latin, some Arabic, and Australian. Incredible mind.
When I was younger he asked me if I attended mass regularly. When my answer was in the negative he said “Don’t worry. Just be a good bloke.” I reckon there is a lot of wisdom in that.
PS – I think a roughie will get up ala Pope John Paul 11. He came from no where,
C Little,
We also need to find out who Shane Templeton fancies.
P Flynn
Templeton Shmempleton. What about S. Moran?
George Pell is in from $41 to $21. Apparently Khoder Nasser has the Latin American Cardinals in his pocket.
No white smoke this time, just Benedict appearing at the Vatican window and announcing “And the winner is ……….Syd….Ah…….Nee.”
Is there a Ugandan Cardinal in the betting.
They have a hardline anti-homosexuality bill being proposed and having a Ugandan Pope will help the cause because the Roman Catholic Church opposes the bill.
I’m not sure which bit they oppose though. I’d say the torture and execution parts rather than say, the anti-homosexual part.
A few years ago I went to a school reunion where the invitees were anyone who had played for the First XVIII. George Pell was there and was one of the guest speakers. Half back flanker.
Formidable research Litza. Interesting that your favourite current day theologian Hans Kung criticised Benedict for being a conservative. I read somewhere once that Benedict criticised Pope John Paul II (after his death) for allowing Bob Dylan to play before him at a youth event in Bologna, 1997. After playing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” Dylan approached Pope John Paul, took off his beige cowboy hat and bowed before him. Benedict was not impressed.
The early “black popes” you list came from the Roman province of Africa – northern Egypt and Tunisia. There is no reference to them being Nubian (black). They were white.
“he is from Canada and Canadians are predisposed to apologise.” – Great comment, Litza.
Beau D’Gah is right. In Roman times North Africa was white.
Andrew Fithall, where do you get the strange idea that Jesus (or Peter) where black. They were Judeans, i.e. Palestinian Jews. They would have had olive skin and looked like contemporary Arabs or Sephardic Jews.
Some scholars do maintain that the African popes may have been black, but nonetheless it is dubious history/referencing on my part to equate geography with skin colour.
One thing a reading of the history of the popes does confirm however is the ridiculous notion of infallibility. Yes, I understand that refers to being free from error in the execution of office, rather than an overall infallibility, but my point still stands.
The line from St Peter to the present day (setting aside that this is a ridiculous linkage to make) is littered with rat-bastard nepotistic politics of the highest order.
“The line from St Peter to the present day (setting aside that this is a ridiculous linkage to make) is littered with rat-bastard nepotistic politics of the highest order.”
…. and thus endeth the lesson. gold.
Very reassuring Litza. Your omission of Cardinal Bergoglio from your list of contenders bodes well for your optimism regarding the Blues.
Will Cardinal Mick help you to maintain your faith in the coming season? A flag and he will be the next pope (Mick 1).
Not unhappy with the appointment, but after Benedict, I thought his age would’ve had him out of contention. Mick doesn’t have a God complex, and will smite anyone who says he does.