THE PRE WRAP – ROUND XX – THE CRUNCHTIME ROUND
FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL MARNGROOK FAN
What a week it’s been in Footy Wrappers. The Footy’s still crowded out as the EFC and Shoeless Jim place themselves above The Game. Nor are the Ayatollah and his lackeys around at Jellymont House coming out of this with their honour intact. And by once again allowing ourselves to be in lockstep with a ‘World’ body, we’ve stuck ourselves with a prescriptive set of rules that don’t work anyway. For instance, we’ve had kids making innocent mistakes with substances that are sold over the counter shamed and banned, while two clubs – one in the NRL & the other in the AFL – deliberately & systematically, not only tried to circumvent the spirit of the rules, but as far as the testing protocols in place are concerned, got away with it. And, certainly in the case of Essendon, are threatening to punch anyone in the nose with a lawsuit should they attempt to sanction them over it. In fact everyone involved in this showdown are reaching for their lawyers, and we can expect the dollars and writs to start flying any minute now.
How revealing would a survey be as to – a show of hands would be fine –how many of us have had an absolute gutful of the behaviour of all the parties involved in this squalid affair? That many, eh? Keep your hands up. I reckon you could balance the Sydney Harbour Bridge on them.
Now while we’ve got you there, put up the other hand if you believe that any one who has used their regulatory and executive power to mask their distraction in the period leading up to and during these should be sanctioned without fear and favour? Wow! Keep it up while we stack the Opera House on top of the bridge.
But enough of my gabbin’. Let’s see who is going to be in the land of plenty after Round XX.
The Culture Club v The Family Club under cover tonight. Fair dinkum, Bradley Manning would have more confidence in his appeal hearing than The Long Suffering Junction Oval Faithful will take with them to The Big Top tonight. We know it’s been a tough year for them, and the Whole Football World is with The Sainters in these dark times, but the bottom line is we’re entering the business end of the season and the Mayblooms have been stung out of any complacency they may have been harbouring. We’re tipping that they’ll be at The Seagulls from the Opening Bounce and it will be all over by the first change. The Mustard Pots – after their humiliation at the hands of The Striped Marvels last week – embarrassingly. And The Bagmen, unless they’ve sabotaged the Hawthorn Team Bus, are literally giving it away at $1.02,
The Striped Marvels v The Roy Boys at THOF for the early one on Saturday. Richmond: in Vickey, out Stephenson. Brisbane out: Brown, Bewick & Golly, in Martin, Moloney & Lester.. The Tiges, apart from a few long term injuries, are at full strength and playing the style of Footy Coach Hardnose and his Coaching Department have known all season they were capable of. Only one straight kick behind The Maggies on percentage, they’ll be all out to take advantage of Big Jonathon Brown’s absence. Ward Rooney reckons this Bleak City weather will abate by match day and if Jumping Jack can find his radar Struggletown could kick the Sweep. The Roys have been making a bit of noise this season. They have a couple of big scalps on their belt – The Peptides & The Handbags – and their win against The Roos, in hindsight, deserves mention. The Tiges won’t want to blink. We’re saying, now they’ve got a taste for Victory, that they’ll go on with the job. The Endangered Species for us here in the Wrapcave, and you could do a lot worse than latch onto some off that $1.16 Little Tommy’s throwing around.
The Pussies v The Power on the Little Ground at The Bottom End of The Bay at the traditional time. The Tealers have been playing Inspired Football this season, none more so than Chad Wingard. If you haven’t got him for a place in this year’s Brownlow you haven’t been paying attention. But Chad, Kane, Travis & Jay might have their hands full against The Rebounding Cats. They’ll have trained with mouthguards in on Tuesday & Thursday nights, and the handbags will be loaded with housebricks. Playing in front of their Adoring Flattown Faithful, they should be able to pull this one off. They may have to use up one of their remaining lives, but they’ll do it. The $1.14 looks safe too.
The Miseries v The Bulldogs on the Shifting Sands of Docklands in the gathering gloom. (BTW Wrap, have you noticed the days are getting longer? – Ed) As that old Craven A cork tipped advertisement slogan used to tell us – You’ve got nothing to lose but your smokers ’cough. Well, The Doggies have got nothing to lose but a meaningless four points against the Club that called them Tragic back in Black Jack’s day. Memories run deep along the Maribyrnong. They may be a bit exhausted by last weeks outing against TRP, but the Self Belief gained will compensate for that. Their opponents are one of this season’s biggest disappointments. Expected to take on The Competition this season (Maybe in the paper castle they’ve constructed themselves at Visy Park they expected to – Ed) they’ve fallen to Glorious 9th, dependant on Arch Rival Essendon’s predicament for a wild card entry to September. Freo exposed them, as so many others have this season, for sustainability. Whether it’s lack of concentration or desire is not clear, but they have had a lot of trouble keeping in matches during crucial passages. Waite’s been in and out of the side because of injury or rush of blood. The Hon. Edward C Betts is talked of as trade bait. The Kreuzer has been maligned as too gentle a giant. (And he’s not playing anyway, nor is Carrazzo – Ed) The other Two Amigos don’t seem happy little campers under The Wayward Ox’s standard. Juddie’s mind seems to have moved on to another plane and their Skipper seems equally distracted. But that’s the season. Can they lift to keep alive their Wild card hopes tonight? The Shinboners are two out and one back waiting to pounce with their superior percentage. And wouldn’t The Sons of The West like to stick it up ‘em for Ted? We’re saying they can. They’re young and fit, and playing with Self Belief. With the Whole Football World in their corner, it’s The Boys of The Bulldog Breed for us here in Wrapland. And at $3.20 they’re The Wrap Roughie of The Round.
The Bloods v Carringbush at ANZ Stadium on Saturday night. Bruce & The Velvet Fog have the call but it’s a Foxbuster if you prefer the HD image and the uninterrupted call. (And the superior analysis? – Ed) The Maggies obliterated The Flying Syringes last round, but there are some SOTG who are suggesting they may have been playing The Marshmallows instead. It may be too early to tell, but there are signs that the medication that’s been helping Their Boys Always Strive For Glory And Fame As They Play This Grand Old Game may have lost its uplifting powers. Which, in turn, may qualify Collingwood’s win. The Hawks belted The Bombers too, and in turn were on the receiving end the following week. The Swanees on the other hand have just come off one of the hardest contests they’ve had all year, which they won. That’s why Nurelle’s Nana will never race ferrets and we’re going for The Bloods. Take McGlynn to kick 3 goals and Tippett to kick the first if you want some side interest, but most certainly pile it on The Bloods at $1.45.
The Gold Coast Metermaids v The Recalcitrant Redlegs at The Metricon on Saturday night. This one’s a no brainer. The Suns need only turn up for the last quarter. Melbourne are so down in spirit right now they’d just as likely kick it out on the full and have to wait for The Suns to turn up to kick the ball back into play. The Abletts by the length of the main straight at Flemington.
The Gliders v The Pre Season Redhot Favourites under cover for the early one on Sunday. Can The Pharmaceuticals reverse their form slump? And can The Wedgies live up to their pre-season hype? The East Coast fans are to be denied a look at Nick Nat Nui, which is a disappointment. Apart from that, his mercurial presence will be missed by his teammates. There’s an experimental feel about both team sheets, but were going to say The Marshmallows, in the face of overwhelming off-field events, will snap this form slump and live to face their fate. But you wouldn’t put up that florin you scored from the Christmas pudding as surety.
The Free Settlers v The Shinboners at Crow Park for the middle match on the Sunday. The Chardonnays may be a bit flat after having their cork popped last Sunday in The Showdown. The Roos, on the other hand, will be full of bounce after their Famous Victory. The Porpoise is back for The Crows but The Kangas should have too much of everything, including Shinboner Spirit and a chance to grab Glorious 9th along with the Essendon Wild card vacancy in September. They’re a bit radical at $1.80, but if you’re an avant-garde sort of an investor, why not? Ef?
The Purple Haze v The Western Sydney Experiments at Paterson’s Curse to finish off Round XX. If ever there was a chance for The Boa Constrictors to break out and actually kick a bagful this has to be it. A bunch of kids, mesmerized by the temptations of Questa Casa and the fine wines & seafood of Mews Road will be a rabbit in the headlights when they run out onto Subiaco Oval on Sunday. The Barry Crockers, and with The little Aussie battler in free fall (To the delight of Aussie exporters – Ed) you could do a lot worse than leave the mortgage money with your caring odds-setter for the weekend.
Good tipping and even better punting.
And remember, if you read it in the Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.
With the release of the ASADA Report we’re going to be asked to take more than a few people at their word. Here’s what Audrey Niffenger, The Time Travellers Wife; J.M.Barrie, Peter Pan; The Oxford Dictionary, Friedrich Nietzsche & Abraham Lincoln had to say about trust. It’s another mix and match, but it’s a pretty easy one.
I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.
I never understood why Clark Kent was so hell bent on keeping Lois Lane in the dark.
If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem. It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all of the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time
All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.
1. to have confidence in somebody; to believe that somebody is good, sincere, honest, etc. Trust somebody. She trusts Alan implicitly. Trust somebody to do something. You can trust me not to tell anyone.
2 trust something to believe that something is true or correct or that you can rely on it. He trusted her judgement. Don’t trust what the newspapers say!
3 trust (that)… (formal) to hope and expect that something is true. I trust (that) you have no objections to our proposals?