AFL Round 17 – North Melbourne v Carlton: The Triangles are ringing

By  Sebastian Clark

There was a time in the Affairs of teams that 6-9 played 7-8. It was an important time for both the Shinboners and the Triangles if they were to compete in the Gladiator’s Games. Both teams played better when either they had a gasometer as a lode star or were immersed in fields of Royalty. They had also a good following of loyal locals who were not above pelting a visiting Saintly side’s coach with yonnies or creating such a riot with Magpies that they could not be admitted to a newly created League! Oh for the days of yore! Chilty and I wended our way to Calamity Castle through the pedestrian traffic having found a parking place in such a Wilde street as Lothian. After all it is jammed between Queensberry and Victoria both of whom gave young Oscar real trouble. The walk let Chilty calm down about the fact that the confident Shinboners had rotated Foote out of their side tonight. He said they would be made to pay for this slight! How right he was!

The First Stanza started, as most of the rest of the game would unfold,with stacks on the mill. There was also trouble at mill as the likes of Percy’s friend Carrazzo would find out. From a troubled time in a pack Better emerged to find Hendo in front to slot the first major. Chilty settled a little as he said the Shinners had been found wanting. Not for long was he settled as the cocky ones soon had loose men everywhere and not the sort to find their way into the pages of Truth. One such was Halves and he fractioned one through the tall timber.  The flags had scarcely been waved when dainty Thommo (not Lillee’s mate) popped one in. He repeated the dose soon after Kelly’s Nemesis had profited from Sherloch’s monstrous kick to restore Chilty’s equilibrium.We were not to know then the full extent of Thommo’s final haul. The best one came next when he twisted and turned like an eel on the painting before dobbing a big major. This gave Chilty the shakes. Fortunately for him the Skipper restored order to give the Triangles a singleton lead at the change of ends.

The remarkable accuracy of the Triangles at six straight reminded Chilty of the Fred Stafford Grannie when they were eight majors only at the long interval. After Gars pounced Brocky thought he was on the mountain and missed a sitter thus ending the accurate streak. Not that he was Robinson Crusoe as Birdie did the same for them lot. It was about this time that Chilty started gawping at the sheilas on the turf thus missing Carrazzo’s “nudge” which I had to demonstrate to him.”That’s nothing”, he exploded, “Bob Chitty, for Benalla in 1948, ironed out three of our best. They were left as cold as coffins on the ground so none of our reserves could get on. After this Jetter with a rare kick to find Gars who got another. Chilty was very pleased it wasn’t his bete noir in Yasser! Hendo turned the scoreboard over again with a beauty after a great roost by Rower. Then came Bastie’s shocker to leave the Shinners half a dozen down at the long interval. Chilty wanted to know if the Gladiator’s new rule that a team that wins successive stanzas wins the game held. The umps did not play by that rule!

The Third Stanza would decide it as Chilty said to the big bloke in front with a striped scarf. I warned Chilty but he would not listen, as usual. So the Triangles started off with a series of misses. “Where is Fred Stafford?”, shouted Chilty. Tatts lobbed a long one but was umpired out of it. Not so Better (or Best) who scored from close range as did Gars after a solo bouncing run.Then came the steadiers from the Shinners. That Thommo was everywhere and returned the favour followed by a recovered Zieben. The 35 point lead was down to a big birthday come lemon time. The bloke in front was warming up!

After three winning Stanzas in a row the Triangulators waltzed into the last one. Tatts gave Chilty a boost from long range but then the Shinboners rolled. Water ran well to give Thommo his fifth. Chilty shouted:”Why don’t you give him six?” for which the scarfed bloke gave him one. The Jetter missed a soft one sandwiched in between a couple of classics from the Dish. He certainly has a safe pair of hands that Shinboner. We were now back to a cricket team lead. Yasser annoyed Chilty by goaling from a Cruiser palm but then Water ghosted through heavy traffic to make the scarfed one bubble. Jetter hit a post as the Shinners went about their grandstand finish. Thommo’s sixth and the Dish’s fourth made the Triangles cling to a singleton lead. Cling on they did aided in no small part by a real steps and stairs mark by the Cruiser as the Northerners were making their last thrust. At the final bell Chilty, who had taken two long walks in the last ten minutes, shouted: “At least the 1926 team only lost four games by less than a goal!”  This was too much for the scarfed fiend who promptly decked Chilty.

He was philosophical on the walk to the Wilde side. He missed Bob Chitty, Fred Stafford and Doug Williams and couldn’t hear the final bell for all the noise! He said it was like the umpy in ’49 at Arden Street not hearing the bell and Kevin (it would have to be!) Dynon cheating the Pivot out of the game by rushing a goal! Hence sirens. Chilty regretted the hunting in packs today, missed the stab passes and the boundaries who could not throw past their heels! All was forgotten after his seventeenth at Percy’s where the owner was thrilled at the result and more so at the prospect of Carrazzo being rubbed out! And now they were Even Stephen on eight with the rest to come. Joy!

Carlton                      6.0    9.2    14.8    16.13 (109)

North Melbourne         5.5    7.8    10.11  16.12 (108)

Goals

Carlton :  Garlett 4, Henderson 3, Yarran 2, Curnow 2, Tuohy 2, Betts 2, Murphy

North Melbourne: Thomas 6, Petrie 4, Bastinac, Harvey, Wells, Ziebell, McKenzie, McMillan

Best

Carlton: Simpson, Kreuser, Garlett, Carrazzo, Curnow

North Melbourne: Thomas, Petrie, Thompson, Harvey, Cunnington

Umpires:   Stevic, Mollison, Rosebury

Official Crowd:   37,443

Our Votes:     Thomas (NM) 3,  Simpson (Carl) 2,  Kreuser (Carl) 1

Optional:    Triangles = Carlton as they played on the triangle off Sydney Road.  Better  =Betts,  Hendo = Henderson, Shinboners, Shinners =North Melbourne, Thommo = Thomas, Cruiser =Kreuzer,  Birdie =Swallow, Gars = Garlett, Brocky = McLean,Jetter = Judd, Yasser = Yarran, Gladiator = Demetriou, Tatts = Tuohy, Zieben = Ziebell, Dish = Petrie

Comments

  1. Andrew Starkie says:

    Oscar would’ve got a kick out there. Very funny.

  2. We need an index of Almanac writing styles. Shakespearean rap – a first. Well done. Good read, Sebastian.

  3. Peter McLean says:

    Sebastian,
    Carlton didn’t play football on the Triangle, it was solely the cricket club’s ground. (They may have trained there.) Carlton at the same time played on the Madeline street ground circa 1876-78 and a few years later on the Princes Oval (now Crawford oval) adjacent to the Triangle at the southern end of Princes Park opposite the cemetery.
    It wasn’t till the cricket club gave up the Triangle in1896 that the present Princes Park/Visy Park ground was granted to both clubs by the Melbourne City Council and Vic. govt.

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