I wish I were going to the Gold Coast this weekend.
I wish I were the Geelong Racing Club’s J. Dunne, resting on his laurels as the man who made the club’s Cup an international event. Because he’s probably organised some junket up there – a research trip to the Tweed Heads trots.
I wish, like J. Dunne, I were lying back in a bath robe monogrammed ‘GURU’ (especially requested by email), the terri-towelling gaping to let the sunshine onto his ample chest, tear drop sunnies and leather policeman’s cap, an umbrella drink in hand, and smirking the smirk of a man who has an eye on Jupiter’s.
But I’m not. I am hosting the St Monica’s Catholic Parish Tennis Club Trivia Night – which is in Moonee Ponds. (Gallipoli Crescent?)
This will be a cracking match. It means heaps to both sides: a key in the Suns’ push to win a spot in the eight; a key for the Cats’ top four aspirations.
So, a couple of questions for the Cats fraternity, and others:
Who plays on G. Ablett?
Why do the Suns win?
Why do the Cats win?
Will The Bride (J. Dunne’s wonderful soul-mate, Helen) abandon him early (my advice) and head out on her own.
And the big question: how much will J. Dunne have on the home side? (He has history. Boy, does he have history)