AFL Round 13 – Brisbane Lions v Geelong: A Lion ate the Cat (Don’t you worry about that)

 

Well Harmsy’s still in bed, his flatmates say
that he’s been quite crook since yesterday
he can’t stop crying, his eye’ve been red
since he went to to see the lions get fed

He’d jumped up early, it was beautiful Brizzy day
He was off to the ground to watch the little cats play
Had a quick scrub, threw on the white and blue
and just like Gazza out the door he flew

As he jumped on the bus he was singing this song
it was something about a mob of Cats from Geelong
And as they drove in the bus toward the Gabba
He and this old bloke had a bit of a yabber

And as they walked in through the gate
the old bloke touched him on the arm and said mate,
I want to give you a little tip that I give all to my friends
lt’s a mock if you sing the team team song before the game ends

I’ll remember that sir, the polite young Harmsy said
But by half time of course it had flown right out of his head
They were up twenty seven and cruising you see
Christo’d bagged a couple and Hawko’d kicked three

Half hour later and the Cats were up fifty-two
So he darted out for a quick hit and miss in the loo
And as he pushed his way through the Kirks drinkin throng
he again started singing that tune about Geelong

He was singing it still standing their pissin at the urinal
when he suddenly heard a voice say ‘John Harms you’re just a fool’
He turned around quickly, it gave him a shock
And there stood the old bloke, the tipster of mock!

Now I don’t mean to rude, Harmsy said to the bloke
But your’e off trolley, your tips are a joke
Look at the scoreboard, we’re up more than eight
So in future just keep your tips to yourself mate

Now, by the end of third quarter the Cats were up six and two
And Harmsy was singing louder as his confidence grew
But little did he know about what lay ahead
for the lions were hungry and had to be fed

I’ll interject at this point with a quick observation from Arch

Harms you’re clearly not familiar with the David Attenborough show
Cos if you had seen it then surely you’d know
that in middle of the day, lions like to just laze around
that’s just their way, they’re smart ey, they attack as the suns goes down

They spring from their slumber and snaffle their prey
They’re so big and strong that none get away
And in the middle of winter, they like to get fat
on that aptly named creature, the blue and white cat

So anyway, back to the footy, and Harmy’s stopped singing that song
cos the Lions are roaring, they’re comin home really strong
they’re pegging Geelong’s lead back, goal by goal
Bloody hell, the Cats are starting to fall in a hole

2 to go and Richy kicks a six with his flying lion feet
levels it up, Harmsy’s glued to his seat
Then Tommy tries a banana, misses, bloody hell
But they’re up by a point, c’mon where’s the friggin bell?

With seconds to go and the crowd going nuts
the lions pounce, straight up the guts
the ball goes to Zorko, he kicks it up the park
and right on the buzzer Ash McGrath takes the mark

He’s fifty two out as he lines up the pill
The lions are roaring, they sense a kill
In his 200th game the lion man lets loose a mighty kick
And the ball flies high and far and straight through the bloody sticks!

John threw down his drink and headed for the gate, he couldn’t get out of there fast enough
but there on the stair he ran into the old man and what the old bloke said was rough
He yelled you wouldn’t cop my tip you bloody twit you’ve had a Barry Crocker
You wouldn’t shut your lip now you’ve sunk the ship, John Harms you’re a bloody mocker!

As he walked to the bar in a stink he was thinking about all the kicks that Hawko missed
With beer he tried to wash the memories away and he wound up really pissed.
So its no surprise that there he lies with a hangover in his bed.
After putting the mock on his joy and pride, the poor bloke probably wishes he was dead.

I know it hurts John, but to help get it out of your system
I’ll shut up shop with a few words of Archie wisdom
Now you need to understand mate, in Africa in the fighting game,
the lion will always beat the cat.
And up here in the Sunshine State its just the same
don’t you worry about that.

About Archie Butterfly

Archie's decided to follow the dream and try become the next great Aussie bush poet. They all think he's mad. He's out to prove them right!

Comments

  1. TG White says:

    Well done Archie. I’m a former house mate of JTH and I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I was so confident of the Cats that I went and had a Nana nap before quarter time, so well did they come out of the blocks. So we both put the mock on them I feel. Nice job on the poem.

    TG

  2. Archie, you made my night. I loved that you spoke the poem, I loved the poem and you rock. I had the tv on the footy as I was writing up this weeks almanac article, and had to stop writing, couldn’t tear myself away from the drama. It reminded me of the three minutes the Gold Coast took to steal Richmonds game last year. The events that we will remember forever, just awesome, surprising moments that take our breath away.

    Thank you for your contribution.

    Yvette Wroby

  3. Mr Butterfly, I have been responsible for many Geelong losses over the years, and I feel completely responsible for this one. Delayed feeding and bathing the kids until half time. Recorded the rest of the game. Was amazed when I watched it an hour after it had finished – without knowing the result. More coming on that when I have a moment to put pen to paper.

    Enjoying your poetry, with its Queensland sensibility. Just wish you had different material.

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