A game of two halves

Hawthorn V Melbourne

By Steve Healy

The thing that pains me the most (apart from the actual result) about this game is the fact I want to write about it. To be honest it was an insipid performance from the Demons in the second half. We played like the 2008 Demons with a hint of hype for extra spice. Seeing a sea of Brown and Gold go wild as their side tears into your Red and Blue hearts is an experience you’d much rather forget, but it’s just been the reality for the Demons in past seasons.

I got to the MCG after a day spent sleeping in for much longer than I would’ve planned normally (the only good thing about twilight games). Sitting there made me think about the proposed Melbourne Hawks. How would my life be different if the proposed inception eventuated? I wasn’t even two years old at the time. I thought about the video (Just search ‘Melbourne Hawks’ on Youtube) that encases their proposed theme song. It’s hilarious, terrifying and stupid.

Speaking of the internet, have you ever had a fellow Dees supporter you met on the internet just happen to sit a few rows behind you at the footy? Well, I did. He’s the same age as me, he seems just as passionate about the Melbourne Football Club as I am, and he’s friendly- we spoke properly once the game ended. (Understandably, he was more interested in my jeans than the result.)

If this footy match were a person, they would be bipolar. In the first handful of minutes, the Hawks bullied the Dees, attacking the forward fifty with grit.1.5 to 0.0. Luckily, a textbook Aaron Davey pass set up Dunn for our first goal, a truly lucky break with all the wide-spread dominance. Situated next to the Melbourne cheer squad, I could perfectly ride the emotion that came as we grew, but I still got the feeling that we were getting off a little bit lucky. For all those who diss Jack Watts as a pastime, hobby, or perhaps even fetish, he took a spectacular pack mark inside fifty, something we who follow footy have been deprived of in recent times. He slotted the goal to put us in front.

The second quarter was like experiencing a really good dream where whatever you want to happen, happens, but one little lapse or an over-thought and you’ll be awoken. As the Dees got out 27 points ahead, with Jurrah flying all about the place, kicking one and setting one up for our skipper, I honestly couldn’t believe it. 2.11 to 8.2! Just before half time, Chance Bateman kicked one of the luckiest goals of all time that dribbled along the ground and just snuck in the left hand post. The margin was back to 19 at half time, but confidence from Demons’ fans could still be strongly detected. Roughead and Buddy were missing everything and giving away frees. Luke Tapscott was playing fantastically for the second week running; his sheer strength at the contest will bring him jewels before long.

And then came the second half, where the dreams were ripped apart. A collection of things seemed to happen all at once, Lewis came on for Renouf (A bold move, as it would leave all the rucking to Hale), Cameron “Boooo” Bruce, after a horribly quiet first half, snapped a goal, and Franklin slotted one through from the boundary line. What followed was ridiculous; the Hawks hit the lead courtesy of a Cyril “See you in Round 4” Rioli goal after an obstruction took place by Jack “Can improve his kick-ins” Grimes. I think that ridiculous umpiring decision was the true turning point of this game. It seemed as though the Hawks could do what they please, except of course, accurate kicking. They shot at the City End goals so frequently; it was like they were amateur terrorists. 8.11 to 1.1 in a quarter of footy, now what can you say to make that sound better? Hawthorn should’ve kicked 15 goals?

With the game decided, the Hawks slackened off a touch, allowing us to snag a couple. Not that it mattered. Burgoyne finished the game with a late couple, adding his tally to seven for the season (tying the Coleman Medal) and giving the Hawks a 45-point victory, 16.26 122 to 12.5 77. We were just hopeless. It was worse than your average 45-point loss, had the Hawks lead for the whole game it would’ve hardly mattered. A 72 point turnaround! Here are some stats for you: Inside fifties: 75-35 to Hawthorn. Marks: 130-87. Second half possessions: 244-130. Also, what was Dean Bailey doing with Frawley? Frawley didn’t seem to have an opponent, didn’t seem to be in the play and looked a little lost as Garland took Franklin. If there’s any compensation, we play the Lions at the G next week, followed by the now-revealed-dreadful Gold Coast Suns. However, if we play anything like we did in that second half for a whole match, we won’t beat anyone.

And thank you, Joe Gutnick.

Hawthorn 2.8—3.13—11.24—16.26 (122)

Melbourne 3.1—8.2—9.3—12.5 (77)

Hawthorn: Burgoyne 4, Roughead 2, Franklin 2, Suckling 2, Bateman, Bruce, Rioli, Shiels, Osborne, Ladson.

Melbourne: Green 2, Dunn 2, Jurrah 2, Davey, Bennell, Watts, Jamar, Petterd, Trengove.


Hawthorn: Rioli, Suckling, Osborne, Gibson, Hale, Franklin, Shiels, Burgoyne, Young.

Melbourne: Sylvia, Tapscott, Jurrah.

My Votes: 3. C.Rioli (HAW), 2. M.Suckling (HAW), 1. M.Osborne (HAW)

Crowd: 49,905 at the MCG.

About Steve Healy

Steve Healy is an entity of a Melbourne supporter.


  1. Don’t worry Steve, you’ve got two byes coming up.

  2. Steve Healy says:

    -And with byes in Rounds 5,8 and 16 to come.

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