1986 – A Year With The Blacks Round 8: I’ve Been to Berri Too

This week I decided to spend some time with Fred “Chocka” Bloch, whose title at The Blacks is Honorary Football Co-ordinator, but he is so much more than that. Only the arrival of Barrie Robran and the fact that Chocka was fast becoming a pretty ordinary player studying for his Honours Degree stopped him from adding to his 1965 B&F at the Roosters, in a career that was cruelly cut short by the onset of mediocrity his academic career.

 

More culturally significant than the Big Orange

More culturally significant than the Big Orange

If there’s a better footballer to come out of Berri, I certainly haven’t met him.

Berri's Second Biggest Export

Berri’s Second Biggest Export

However, my week was spoiled by the grovelling presence of Malcolm ‘Rulebook’ Ashwood, who seems to have developed an unhealthy fixation with Fred. On Monday as I arrived at Fred’s Napier Building office, his straggly haired admirer was already firmly entrenched in the spare chair, banging on about why he shouldn’t be stuck with Young Maddern and why he was so important to, the Glamour Side Maddern doesn’t appreciate all the hard work I do offtheball and can I get you another coffee Chocka gee that was a great win against the Greeks but we better, not loose to SHOC but Griff’s doing, alright not quite as good as Weathers was gee I miss him but anyway Norwood should do OK this year but Rocky,,, roberts has proberly gone on a season too long and I just rang Chappelli and he reckons that next time DougWalters is in town he;;ll pop in for a quick dozen but whats that another coffee Chocka geez I reckon that. thr Blacks could win the Norwich Cup tihs year I’ve checked the drawsof all the other clubs and I reckon well give ita big shake waddya reckon Gordon?

Maybe I’ll try later on in the season to get down my thoughts on Chocka. Mark my words, it’s not a subject that you’d trust Ashwood to be documenting.

 

Tuesday night saw the SANFL v WAFL state game at our glorious footballing HQ. SA were pretty ordinary, as my neatly compiled Budget has recorded below.

Dismal

Dismal

 

 

Unlikely to be heard of again

Unlikely to be heard of again

 

Antrobus and Sims were unlucky to miss selection. If only they had gone to training instead of the Settlers Hotel last week, they might have snagged a spot instead of that timid stylish Paynter poonce

Still, it was only a minor bump in the road to SA’s quest to dominate the Australian football landscape. They’ll soon be clamouring to join our mighty competition once the fools in charge of the VFL get their comeuppance. Everything they’ve got belongs to the banks.

 

May 31st 1986 Round 8

A1 – Griff’s Grunters: Adelaide Uni 9.11 lost Sacred Heart OC 13.12 (Barrett Reserve, West Beach)

Goalkickers: Tasker 3, Dadds 2, A Hancock, Hall, Eckert, Bland
Best Players: Hall, Whaley, Bland, Schulz, Dadds, S Parker

The team bonding session at The Venue after training worked a treat according to Griff. Well, not according to Griff actually, as he knew nothing about it. Did it work? Too early to tell.

Tony ‘Ox’ Ravesi was none too impressed with the Blacks feeble effort at the Caravan Park, something about “go harder Blacks” was his sage advice.

Sandy Hancock graced the team with his presence returned to the side this week and he’ll be looking to boost the Blacks attacking options for the rest of the season.

A 5-3 record has the Blacks mid-table, with a home game against Rivvies in a fortnight after next week’s State game. Hall, Whaley and Schulz will take some pretty good recent form into that game.

A8 – Glamour Side: Adelaide Uni 13.10 def Greek 8.8 (Park 9)

Goalkickers: Burfield 5, Maddern 4, Agostino, Coleman, Raschella, M Watson
Best Players: Coleman, Burfield, Raschella, Case, Ewers, McQuillan

Sniffer is kept away from the stopwatch this week. Tweety Pie Burfield’s bleating pays immediate dividends and the A1Res’ loss is the Glamour Side’s gain. Coach Maddern cracks the sads when he realises that he has possibly cost himself the chance to snare the elusive ton by bringing in another goalkicking option.

Coach’s Notes – A rollicking rendition of Zorba the Greek in the Greek changeroom highlights a sensationally uneventful day. Brett Dutschke, the World’s Most Casual Man, falls asleep at half time. The Dane is named best afield and is so euphoric about his whole performance that he spends 3 hours at work at a West Terrace petrol station before he realises it’s a holiday

A9 – Sty Council: Adelaide Uni 15.3 def Gepps Cross 5.4 (Park 9)

Goalkickers: Priest 5, Taylor 4, Schwerdt 2, Fahey, Heath, Lane, Stewart
Best Players: Richardson, Priest, Stewart, Heath, Fulwood, Carey

A dark pall has been cast over the Council, as it mourns John Schumann’s departure from Redgum. As a mark of respect, the team adopted the Redgum motto “If you don’t fight, you lose” for the rest of the season (except for Swish Schwerdt, who was more Split Enz’s “I don’t know why sometimes I get frightened”). This was to be bad news for the rest of the A9 competition.

The early game at West Hackney was almost called off when Gepps ‘Not So’ Cross were ‘light on’ for numbers due to some zealous enforcement of ‘lights out’ at their usual recruiting ground up on the hill at Junction Road. Somehow they mustered up twenty or so bodies, but they were soon quaking in their boots at the ferocity of their better educated opponents Big Jim and the High Priest. Solomons Carey (no doubt stirred into action by last week’s revup) and Flop Fulwood kept scoring to a minimum.

Can Sty’s mob go 18-0 this season. Yes they can, mark my words.

Gordon ‘Blerrrgh’ Agars

About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 – Dogs v Peckers.

Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi)

Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89)

Life member – Ormond Netball Club

-That’s me on the right

Comments

  1. Dan Hansen says:

    I couldn’t stop laughing as you channelled your inner Rulebook. Top stuff.

  2. Good as says:

    There’s no way Rulebook took that many breaths. (Sorry, Rulebook). Also disappointed no mention of the A3’s second (?) win for the season on their way to a magnificent 2nd semi victory.

  3. Great stuff Swish!

    The South Australian and West Australian lists read more like a SANFL/WAFL Hall of Fame than State of Origin teams. Certainly some names that I remember as a kid (Fielke, Dietrich, Salisbury, Redden). Did Greg Anderson have that King Mullet working by 1986?

  4. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Handbag – Gordon let him off lightly

    Good as – Maybe Gordon could do with some reinforcements for the other five sides

    Bakes – Can’t bring myself to admit that the lack of Victorian based players affected the spectacle. The story of the man behind Anderson’s mullet (plus Ebert, Max James and Marty Leslie’s) is told here – Jim the Snip:

    https://youtu.be/6xyBFs6pL1k

  5. Malcolm Ashwood says:

    I wouldn’t exactly agree that Gordon let me off lightly ! Ok harsh but fair,only took some commerce staff 5 years to find out I didn’t work there, doing the zorba thru the greek change rooms was ad uni fc and the glamour side at its finest the belwidered looks and not exactly happy looks on there face was priceless
    Chocka is after all my hero http://www.footyalmanac.com.au/chocka-bloch/

  6. No wonder SA lost that State game. Lowest Port Adelaide representation I can remember! And the Anderson mullet has existed since before the dawn of time, or as long as I can remember.

  7. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Rulebook – Since you did most of Chocka’s marking, you should have been given long service leave.

    Bucko – Port weren’t that good then, your coach was born in , err, Berri.

  8. Yuppy Uppy says:

    Haha – that doesn’t sound like Rulebook at all. Great read.

  9. chocka bloch says:

    The Book speaks & only tells the truth. On the other hand the things he knows about but doesn’t tell would take a lot of lying to be put to print without severe legalsitic repercussions.
    Go the Book!

  10. My only question: is Rulebook to be recognised as a dialect or a genre?

  11. Big Jim says:

    “Timid poonce”?!!! Typical bloody Bulldogs barracker. Can’t recognise talent & class even when it hits them in the face.
    On the other hand… nailed it with Rulebook!

  12. Luke Reynolds says:

    Well played Gordon. Also loved the Rulebook stuff.

    “Still, it was only a minor bump in the road to SA’s quest to dominate the Australian football landscape. They’ll soon be clamouring to join our mighty competition once the fools in charge of the VFL get their comeuppance. Everything they’ve got belongs to the banks.” Could have just dropped the SA off the SANFL in 1990?

  13. Luke Reynolds says:

    Also, didn’t realise Berri was so culturally significant. All I knew of the place was it’s hosting of a game in the 1992 cricket world cup (West Indies v Sri Lanka). Unthinkable that a world cup game would be held in a place like Berri these days….

  14. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Uppy – thanks

    Chocka – OAM stood for Outstanding, Ask Malcolm

    Mickey – It’s English, but not as we know it

    Big Jim – I’m not responsible for Gordon’s notes (as prescient as they were), but I’ll take full credit for any funny bits. Gordon never forgave Jack for leaving the Bays apparently.

    Luke – Barrie wished he was from Berri too

  15. Rulebook says:

    Swish I suspect that enough time has passed by that there may be some 1 reading this who has benefited from my cough cough skills,thanks,Chocka aka great man as always greatly appreciated.
    Luke good get re remembering,Berri and the World Cup

  16. Hilarious about the Book. I don’t remember Des Herbert.

  17. Im presuming if greg anderson had a mullet then and still does now, graham cornes is coaching the state side and Rulebook is omnipresent on the unisphere, then times haven’t changed.

    Gordon you are a visionary, time machine and prophet all in one – next thing you’ll be saying Griff’s mishmash of try hards will actually win more games and avoid relegation this year!!!

  18. Peter_B says:

    1986 – Investigative reporter Gordon Agars reveals that Ass Prof Ashwood is marking the exam papers in the Adelaide University Commerce Department.
    1991 – State Bank of SA collapses $3.15 billion in debt with the Royal Commission revealing 30% of loans are “non-performing”.
    Where did those graduates go? Do the debits go next to the window or the door?

  19. Damien- i saw Greg Anderson in a cafe only a few weeks ago and the mullet is still living in 1986. If there’s a Seven Wonders of South Australia this is number one.

  20. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    TC – Des Herbert was another one of those ex-VFLers who seemed to thrive at Westies in the 80s

    Damian – Who says nothing changes in Adelaide?

    PB – Slowly joining those dots. I’d like to see a time series done of AU Commerce grads and the corresponding share prices of their employers.

    Mickey – I think Ando got his inspiration from this bloke

  21. Nick Raschella says:

    Ah the post Glamour Side game Zorba the Greek – lead by Sniffer the Greek Kangaroo was a highlight of the round, 1986 season and my footy career and the great spirit shown by the Greek players to come into the change room and join in. That’s what amateur footy is all about.

  22. Jim the Snip, the Port Adelaide Perm – hilarious.
    After watching this I no longer hate Port Adelaide as much as I should.

  23. Big Jim says:

    The picture of that weird guy who apparently inspired Ando. Is that the Ferris Trebilse look?

  24. I think everyone is forgetting the king of all mullets isn’t actually GA but Andrew Sincock. The observant amongst you will have noticed that this summer every home game by the Strikers featured a very familiar tinted perm and glittering necklace passing conveniently into view behind the post match interviewee. There was an incredibly bad one on camera in the Swans’ changeroom last week – so maybe this is inspiring a come-back of sorts?
    Oh – and if I’m not mistaken, doesn’t the Book’s locks border on mulletish?
    Love your work Swish – only adds to the collective legends of the club.

  25. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Papa – Yep, spot on

    Daly – Funny, I felt a bit the same. Just get there before midday

    Jim – I always went on Feres’ day off

    Model – Most observant, if only he’d played for Australia. Just doing my bit.

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