1986 – A Year With The Blacks Round 17: The Reels, A Round At The Fountain

Sadly, I must record the recent passing of a wonderful Blacks clubman Don Stranks. As well as being the father of recently retired Blacker, Steve Stranks, the V-C and Club Patron was also well known to many as the author of the Matric Chemistry text book, Chemistry – A Structural View. A great man whose famed deer-stalker cap and Uni scarf will be sorely missed at Uni Oval.

I had some welcome news however, when my financial advisor informed me that, due to my role as Adelaide’s premier sporting chronicler, drinking at the Arkaba Sports Bar has been deemed as tax deductible. I’ve worked out that the ATO therefore owes me a refund of $325.42. Per Week. Since 1963 and including today.

I celebrated this by staggering across Fullarton Road to the Fountain Inn for a couple before dinner. Who should I slap into on the patio but Andrew Culley of the Sty Council. After fifteen minutes with him, I couldn’t say no to another round. People see no worth in him, but every team needs a sleeves down, elbows out half backer who can pin and mount the opposition flankers. He’s the bees knees and I was easily led into kicking on with him at the venerable Tivoli Hotel.

Adelaide's #2 Entertainment Venue

Adelaide’s #2 Entertainment Venue

I was disappointed to find that the usual lunchtime bar persons weren’t there to greet me with their perky protuberances smiles. Instead, Culls went out the back where a Dubbo A Go Go Combo called the Reels were, if you can call it that, performing a swag of unlistenable tripe. At least I recognised the theme from Prisoner.

Unlistenable

Unlistenable

Culls kindly offered me a bed at his place afterwards as I had misplaced my house keys / lost them down the dunny in the middle of Quasimodo’s Dream. I dreamt about Bob Neil that night and fell out of bed twice, such was my fitfulness.

I eventually snuck out at around 11:30am and found my keys in the drip tray under a couple of slowly dissolving blue ice blocks back at the Tiv.

Adelaide's #1 Entertainment Venue

Adelaide’s #1 Entertainment Venue

I’m not sure that I’ll go to another one of those young persons music evenings again. Give me the Apollo Stadium any day. That’s one place that will stand the test of time, mark my words, unlike that overrated cowshed at Thebarton.

 

Saturday 16th August 1986 – Round 17 

A1 – Griff’s Genuflectors

Adelaide Uni 8.7 def Sacred Heart OC 5.4 (University Oval)

Goalkickers: Eaton 2, Tasker 2, Bland, Cooke, Foster, Williams

Best Players: Keynes, Hall, Kenny, Dadds, Schulz, Antonello

An untypically inclement day required a slogging effort from the A1s. Olympic rower Big Bad Bruce Keynes enjoyed the waterlogged conditions to join the State team representatives, the captain and that urchin Dadds in the Gunning votes. Keg Foster bobbed up again.

A big game coming up next week. Win against Rivvies and the Blacks will get the double chance. Lose and they’ll probably face Broadview in the First Semi.

A8 – Glamour Side

Adelaide Uni 5.11 def Greek 2.9 (Weigall Oval)

Goalkickers: Burfield, Graetz, Hansen, Karutz, Maddern

Best Players: Hansen, Maddern, Dutschke, Etherton, Flavel, Krcmarov

Numbers were a bit down this week, so Young had to wheedle game 99 out of Richard ‘King’ Karutz a few weeks before his impending marriage. A marriage made in heaven, mark my words. How Maddern found his way into the BPs with only one goal from as many kicks was a mystery. At least the Glamour boys didn’t fall for the Greek half time feast scam, unlike Griff’s mob.

Coach’s Notes: A big crowd of 9 witness the synchronised swimming at the Weigall Water Sports Stadium umpired by the Cyclops incognito. To maintain the charade the bullet gives Cyclops heaps for failing to pay him a mark within kicking range. However the Cudlee Creeks are not fooled, they know something is up – Rulebook has not sledged the umpire. Weeks later he does, umpire Coleman got his angles wrong. Cam Watson makes a memorable return to the team. He lasts four minutes and breaks the Experiment’s shortest comeback record. Young Maddern is obliged to use his RAA card to get Graetz’s car recharged. The Jerk refers to Bullet as “dad” and in a day of charades, to put the RAA driver off the scent of deceit, Coach Maddern is made to drive Graetz’s Holden back to the Head. At the time no-one is aware that this is the first time he has ever been in an Australian car.

A9 – Sty Council

Adelaide Uni 6.9 lost Gepps Cross 9.4 (Duncan Fraser Reserve, Northfield)

Goalkickers: Fahey 2, Leyland, Marinoff, G Pattison, Schwerdt

Best Players: Leyland, Heath, Davidson, Ball, Stendt, Fahey

After last week’s schemozzle, Chocka Bloch found it necessary to deliver a stern warning to the Council pre-game, letting Sty and Co know that any further besmirching of Uni’s good name would result in the team being turfed out of the finals.

This led to a poultice of *biffs* *whammos* *kapows* and general mayhem, even more when the game started. Eyes off the ball, a late season loss and a game against undefeated Scotch next week. Another year down the drain for this bunch of undisciplined oiks. Perhaps the club would be better off without them.

 

Gordon “Charming Man” Agars

 

About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right

Comments

  1. I remember the night well. I’m surprised, well maybe not, that Gordon didn’t mention the support act – Los Trios Ringbarkus.
    I really don’t think he got the jokes. As an example he struggled for an hour to understand why a “Corgi with a fat needed to walk up stairs backwards”!

    Great photo of the Tiv – just how I remember it on many many nights

  2. I didn’t realise the Tiv had transparent bars. Wish I’d paid closer attention. And is that an apostrophe I see between ‘t’ and ‘s’ in “Residents”? Sorely disappointed if not. Shiny Bright IS laundry after all – it has proclaimed this forever at the corner of the Parade and Portrush Roads. Love your work Charming Man.

  3. Jeff Milton says

    Brings back fond memories of the old Tiv. Looks so different now.Still many things have changes since the 80s. Surprised you only ran into one member of the Sty Council there at that time of night.

  4. Dave Brown says

    I miss the Tiv as a gig venue. Apollo too for that matter. Amazing to look at the list of musos that played there given its limited capacity. Dust fell from the ceiling tiles like snow

  5. What an excellent gig list at the Tiv.
    Paul Kelly, Died Pretty, Go Betweens and Flamin Groovies.

  6. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks Culls, I just got it.

    Daddsy, welcome back. Go Black’s

    Milts, Gordon’s memory is selective, he may have seen most of the team.

    DB, Daly – I can remember seeing Skyhooks (!), Jonathan Richman, Painters & Dockers and The Johnnies there also

    Is Le Rox still going?

  7. Another cracker!
    Back then I was driving a less than reliable beast of a Ford Cortina.
    None the less it was still an Australian vehicle and I don’t think Bald has driven another one since

  8. Luke Reynolds says

    I imagine the crowd would have gone beserk when “We Built This City” started.

  9. Love Grows Where Rosemary Goes (think Reservoir Dogs) would have been a treat. Love The Reels.

    Drove through Light Square recently, glanced longingly at the northern side and can confirm that Le Rox is gone; quite possibly last millennium.

    Great title. Might get along to Moz later this year.

    Thanks Swish.

  10. Jerks car and the raa saga is one of my favourite blacks memories,Young being the only member and the guy is the most surly raa person I have ever seen parking around the corner trying to catch,Jerk driving the fixed car but being dumb enough for us to still see him and,Young very much under sufferance driving,Jerks car and yep the human cyclops got his angles wrong gold as always,Gordon

  11. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Hey Jerk, you were dead unlucky to have an unreliable Cortina.

    Luke – they did. But they couldn’t top this one

    https://youtu.be/az0HdhdqfNs

    Mickey – thanks for the update. I’ve already got my tickets.

    ‘Book – that RAA story gets even better

  12. I must admit that I’m surprised that Gordon didn’t pass on his sage advice about that solo performer by the name of Paul Kelly being an obvious one hit wonder. I can also confirm from school days that indeed, Young was usually chauffered to school in his parent’s Mercedes. All in all, very nice recollections of a great time in life.

  13. The Tiv indeed! Saw SO many gigs there, and didn’t once look at the bar wenches (Bill C did it for me). Was with oyu at the Tiv that night – recall it being a fab gig – however, i thought support was DAAS? (No firm recall probably due to limited uptake of substances).

  14. Saw the reels at Skullduggery, they were upstaged by Peter Clements that night.

  15. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Big Jim, well spotted re PK. Of course, you walked to Saints I suppose.

    Rabs, you make a couple of good points there.

    Spleen, Skullduggery and Clem, hadn’t thought about either of them for a while.

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