1986 – A Year With The Blacks Finals Week 3: Open Up Those Kegs of Beer

Mascot

Bigger than Chocka Bloch’s record collection. Bigger than Con Polites’ Land tax bill. Bigger than Anne Wills’ earring budget. Bigger than Daddsy’s future child support bill (Ed – how did he know?) Bigger than Denis Sasche’s footy shorts. Bigger than an Ox Ravesi hamburger. Bigger than the Party Boys’ rider at the Bridgeway. Bigger than Bob Neil’s sliderule. Bigger than SA-FM’s playlist (not that difficult). Bigger than Rulebook’s teledex.

Should be in the National Archives

Should be in the National Archives

 

OK, the last one may be stretching it a little, but it was certainly a huge week for the Blacks, with three lower grade GFs and the Ones’ PF. I needed to be in four places at once, don’t ask me how I did it, but I managed.

September 13th 1986 – Finals Week 3

A1 – Griff’s Gratefuls – Preliminary Final

Adelaide Uni 11.17 def Greenacres 12.8 (Adelaide Oval)

Goalkickers: Tasker 3, Eaton 2, Huston 2, Dadds, Hall, Moy, Schulz

Best Players: Hall, James, Moy, Williams, S Parker, Keynes

The lesser of Uni’s four encounters for the day took place across the road from beautiful Uni Oval, at slightly less beautiful Adelaide Oval. The Blacks dominated the first half against the Junction Road jailbirds, but woeful wayward kicking gave the Greens a sniff. Uni gave up the lead late in the last and looked gone until Sean ‘The Kid’ Tasker passed off the pill (a career first) to Silent Steve Moy who converted on the siren.

The Blacks, through Hall and Moy, outroved the other mob, sharking the exquisite superb good tapwork of Bruce Keynes.  Chris James, Skittles and The Brick Outhouse were phenomenal astounding exceptional OK too.

All this means that I’ll have to return to Adelaide Oval next week for the GF against Riverside. I was hoping to spend the weekend at Cobb’s Regines Elephant and Castle The Leg Trap the SANFL finals. Griff’s effort to have fought off the Uni old guard may come to nought if they don’t get up this week. The secret will be to stop Rivvies from getting off to a good start, mark my words.

 

A8 – Glamour Side – Grand Final

Adelaide Uni 14.15 def Kilburn 9.6 (Hawthorn Oval)

Goalkickers: Maddern 5, Case 3, Burfield 2, Dutschke 2, Graetz, Hansen

Best Players: Horne, Flavel, Maddern, Dutschke, Verrall, Hansen

Fortunate finals fixturing from the League gifted Uni with a venue far from familiar to the Chics. In fact, it is highly unlikely that any of them had ever ventured south of North Terrace before, so the long trip down Goodwood Road, let alone the turn left at Angas Road, just after the chemist shop that occupied the old Tom the Cheap building that used to be a theatre, had them baffled by the time they arrived. The appeal of nearby Cross Road Bowl was just too much for some of the Mound Mob, so they spent the arvo there instead.

nasty western suburbs junkies etc

None of which accounts for the marvelous showing by Peter ‘Young’ Maddern and his cast of “nasty Western Suburbs junkies and decent Spooner folk”. I’d expect Maddern to put the cue in the rack now that he’s achieved the ultimate. You won’t see him around the club for much longer, mark my words. Or that Jerk bloke. Double mark my words.

Coach’s Notes: It is a traditional Grand Final lead up. There are injury problems. Flavel (hamstring), Kidd (shins), Horne (knee), Graetz (muscle stretching from his penis to his anus) and Coleman (vanity) all complain loudly for ten days after the Second Semi Final but all make a remarkable recovery in the last hour prior to selection.

Team unity is threatened. At the traditional call of the card, final team placings are bickered about for fifty minutes. There are last minute panics. Despite the warm up occurring nearly two hours before the game, it takes until thirty minutes before the bounce before ruckman Verrall realises he has forgotten his Guernsey, his shorts and his size 16 boots. He pedals home to Henley Beach and back before the start, thus qualifying immediately for the World Iron Man Championships.

Flavel, Case and other resident backmen playing up forward give a faultless display of backmen kicking for goal and at quarter time the Glamour Side lead 3.9 to 2.1. When Kilburn hit the front in the second quarter Sybil Kidd is dragged and vows never to forgive the coach for what he has done.

Aided by the breeze and the banning of the Kilburn No.20 to the sin bin for fifteen minutes for hitting Graetz (universally acknowledged as a travesty of justice no matter his guilt), Flavel has 47 possessions and the team kicks 6 goals to nothing to lead at the lemon break by 40 points.

With the premiership seemingly in their grasp, team runner Sniffer Passaris banned from the playing arena and the coaches dugout very badly fly struck, Rulebook Ashwood is only then brought into the game for the first time.

That night the celebrations include the destruction of the Singapore Restaurant, a video tape replay of the game, very expensive beers purchased from the Queen’s Head Hotel and an enormous headache and hangover for Jamie Horne’s father.

The celebrations still continue.

1986 Glamour Side Photo

Glamour, what Glamour?

1986 Glamour Side Lineup

They’ve mistakenly placed Maddern inside the boundary line and made it appear as though Ashwood took the field. To be corrected.

 

A9 – Sty Council – Grand Final

Adelaide Uni 14.13 def St Dominics 8.7 (Campbelltown Oval)

Goalkickers: Fahey 6, Heath 3, Wachtel 2, Goodwin, Leyland, Richardson

Best Players: Young, Heath, Marinoff, G Pattison, Mellen, Goodwin

Despite being loaded with the best set of small forwards ever to compete at A9 level, and Swish Schwerdt, the game was all over at the 10 minute mark after coach Andrew ‘Sty’ Fahey kicked his fifth goal, leaving the little blokes to just watch on in awe at their goalkicking goliath.

21st man Plug Harcourt’s heckling white-anting exhorting encouragement whilst running green ginger wine Bickford’s lemon barley Adelaide tap water was just one example of the bonds forged by these clowns fine young men throughout 1986.

The credit for this success must be given to the entire Sty Council contingent, known only by the pseudonyms bestowed upon them by Honorary Football Co-ordinator Bloch. Special mention to team physio Kathy Heath, whose massage technique was much sought after, sometimes by the players themselves.

If only there was a way for each of those involved in this most magnificent of years to record their own recollections of this historic season. (Ed – there is, here )

1986 Sty Council Photo

Captain John ‘Solomons’ Carey invents man-spreading. Reg Pattison dressed by Brian Ferrari. Collars appear optional.

1986 Sty Council Lineup

As changed by deed poll.

 

A3 – Bourne’s Birdbrains – Grand Final

Adelaide Uni 10.4 lost Woodville South 12.17

Goalkickers: Birchall 3, Burfield 2, Knight 2, Hammond, Ryan, Wheaton

Best Players: Stanley, Ryan,  Hammond, McDonough, Proudman, Braidwood

As coach Bourne remarked to me after this devastating loss, the effort to win a dozen on end after starting 1-6, had the A3s peaking a fortnight too early. Which makes it their shout at Hold Your Bowlies-a !!!!!

1986 A3 photo

 

Gordon “One More Week” Agars

To catch up on the rest of Gordon’s 1986 ramblings look here

About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right

Comments

  1. The Sty Council: a team of champions and a champion team! Solomans! Hang on, the team photo does not say “Premiers”. Did history get it wrong? Soloman does have the manspread!
    The Glamour Side: No wonder they did well, there are two Nick Raschellas in the photo. The secret weapon of the team manager! Something to confuse the opposition?
    The A3s: A champion team also! Only a couple of the boys have 1st XVIII badges. I would have thought more would have been pushed down with the influx of Teachers to the A1 team.

    1986 the year of the Blacks is Bob Neily over. Tragic!

  2. I still have the t-shirt with Fred Forever, although it probably dates to 1980. The shirt is a lot thinner and I am a lot thicker.

    Can’t remember too much of the A3’s GF, except plenty of blokes suffered GF legs.

  3. Gee that Sty Council team is replete with Blacks’ stars. And Swish Schwerdt. The (absence of any)mention of the little fellow in your report Gordon confirms my recollection – it was rumoured that, stat-less, rootless and directionless he was first located several days post-GF when disturbed by Boz’s patrolling of the upper grandstand seating, devoid of all humanity and utterly dignity-less. Is there any truth to this rumour?

  4. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Very perceptive Prof 6%

    Good as – My Fred shirt is somewhere too. It might fit the cat.

    Daddsy – I’ll have you know that I kicked the point of the century at the southern end in the 2nd quarter, with my only touch. I was already married by this time, so yes, correct on all counts.

  5. Gold as always Swish and for the 1st time of the year I will actually defend myself got a kick in the 2nd quarter.A sensational night and following celebrations not sure if the restaurant ever recovered from the
    Glamour Side and Sty Council can any 1 remember it’s name ? I felt for the A3 side this night with all the carry on and remember a very relieved,Griff

  6. Jeff Milton says:

    Captain Solomons Carey rarely seen around the club these days but I have just sent him the link to this.
    See if he responds.

  7. Both premiership sides led by 5.10 at lemons – spooky!

  8. It looks like Alistair Lee had a quiet one. Rather strange for the most talented player on the field. Was he played out of position or something?

  9. Can’t quiet remember the 1st Half? Much to the disgust of Reggie…! LOL I don’t think I sobered up until the Half Time Oranges.
    And Rule Book, Sty Council was A9’s ?
    Loves how the Captain/Coach Andy Sty Fahey relegated all captaincy duties to Solly and all Coaching duties to Reggie whilst kicking a Sly Sty 6 ?

  10. EVEL Pattison (Sequel to the Monkey Face) says:

    Ahhh, thought this was 1985? But hey, as can be seen in the Pre Match Photo, I don’t think I sobered up until the Half Time oranges… Much to the disgust of Reggie and being relegated from the Centre to CHFwd for the majority of the first half ?

    Pretty much was the Council’s philosophy for the entire season Im sure. Compulsory Thursday Night Training consisted of Parmigianas and Beers at The Queens Head which basically went on and up to pre match warm ups on Saturday.

    During the season We seriously thought we had a Bad Match if we WON by less than 10goals, except for the Pretty Boy Scotch team, our only true nemesis’ but they were dispatched in the Prelim Final by a fitting 69 points if memory serves me correctly.

    Also, Rule Book, some minor editing will discover that The Sty Council was in fact competing in the A9’s league ?

  11. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Thanks ‘Book – as Young proffered above, it was the Singapore Restaurant

    Almost as spooky as Gordon’s unerring predictions, thx Dave

    Thanks Milts, Hope he does

    Ta Handbag – You probably overshadowed him by the looks of the results above.

    Thanks EVEL – You can blame me, not Rulebook for the typo. And the photo was taken a week or so before the game, so you must have been permanently on the gas.

  12. Great bunch of nicknames in that A9 side, Swish. Was Davo Davidson short changed though?

  13. Gold Swish.
    First and last game for Uni my country based parents ever saw me play.
    I can still hear my fathers words ringing in my ears as I lined up for a shot right on the boundary.
    “show your mum what you can do”. I duly kicked it out of bounds on the full.
    This was about my 20th game so why wouldn’t you stick around for a few more, this footy stuff didn’t seem to hard and it was very very funny.
    The only restaurant I can ever remember was Vietnam 2 and the innovative interplay of ornately carved carrot and rather pleasant sea scape paintings.
    Note my positioning on the ball and not as a specialist forward, this is where I formulated the opinion that running was for those that lacked natural skill and ability. It worked for me!

  14. At The Races says:

    Sty speaks: http://www.footyalmanac.com.au/the-best-nicknames-of-1986-discuss/#comment-838853
    6%: Yes. By most people’s standard (a lazy) 6 goals is not a bad haul for one quarter of football.

    Sty : Are we correct in recollecting that you only played the first quarter of the GF? If not, then frankly you didn’t do much in the other three. I am of course attributing all coaching masterstrokes to Reg. But I’m not complaining. I don’t recall getting a touch in the first three quarters. ;)

  15. Evel (Greg) Pattison says:

    Did what you had to Sty then stepped aside to allow someone else the privilege of a kick ? I thank you for that ?
    True Gentle Man of the sport (except when your Father, Keiff, was Goal Umpiring ?

    I’m having an AFL Grand Final BBQ at home in Blair Athol on Saturdau, 1 Oct 16. All “Grays” Past and Present welcome
    * NOTE: (Email/Face Book me for directions)
    Anyone from that era, here is my contact details
    Note: I’m away in Bali until 22 Sep so don’t Sms/call until then ?

    EVEL (Greg) Pattison
    Email: gspatto@gmail.com
    FBook: Greg Pattison (in Prospect)
    Mob #: 0422 216441 (from 22/9/16)

  16. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Thanks Mike, as Mickey Randall once remarked, it was compulsory for all teams back then to have a Davo and a Doc

    Bewdy Jerk, you weren’t the only person that Gordon was wrong about, but for you, he was the wrongest, by about 480 or so games. Well played.

    ATR – I’m very happy to hear from our great leader.

    Evel – have you invited Flop’s sister?

  17. While I watch my new favourite sport – wheelchair rugby- I will dispel the myth of the GF.

    Wheelchair rugby now that’s my type of sport. If I can find wheels to fit my ezy rest recliner put me down for Tokyo.

    I played the full game. Ross ” Reggie” Lyon put me to CHB after 1/4 time to “preserve lead” so had direct input into our first 6 and their last 7.

    BBQ sounds good Evel but my son and I are going to sydney to see our beloved sharkies break their NRL duck . ( gee roosters, sharkies, QPR and unfortunately now it seems the crows – no one ever accuse me of being a glory supporter).

  18. Very perceptive indeed, Prof 6%. Unfortunately one of the badge-wearers IS one of the Teacher’s College recruits…Butch Lowry kicked 4 (match-winning) goals on him in rd 18 v Riverside, and he never played A1 again…

  19. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Thanks for clearing that up Sty.

    IMS – Good to see that you’re finally over it.

  20. This was the day I realised I was playing for TWGFC.

    Loved every article.

    Great job Swish.

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